One single year

What a difference one single year can make!

2016 was the most traumatic and dramatic year in my life.

I went through some major heart surgeries and I didn’t, neither did the doctors, knew if I should survive it all.
It was all about attitude, faith, patience, rest and healing.
Not hope. Hope paralyzes me.
Faith.

I would lie if I said my way back was easy.
It wasn’t. Absolutely not. I tried and failed and I tried another way. Over and over again.
Until I found something that worked out for me.
Then, Yay!

When trauma, drama happens, and it does happen to all of us, once or many times in life, there’s no other way than live through it.
Go forward.
When things happens that changes your life forever, a shift, you can only look forward. Find and see options and possibilities, instead of obstacles and problems.
Easier said and done, I know, but it’s the truth and the only way.
Giving up is not an option.
It’s all about attitude.

My attitude.
Your attitude.

Last summer I spent weeks hospitalized. Heart surgeries. Life existential questions.
Fear. Felt like a little scared girl. And I was! Oh, so many tears and so much fear.
But I also knew the “older me” had to help the little girl in me. Protect her. Guide her. Help her.

I couldn’t stress this trauma out from my body, from my soul or my mind.
I wanted to move on as quickly as possible, feel better, be healthy again as soon as I could….and all I could do was to rest.
I had no energy to do anything else.
Breathe and rest and one more breath…

Trusted in my body’s ability to heal itself, with the help I got from my cardiologists and amazing love from friends and family.
But mostly, my own love for myself.
The love for this body, this heart of mine.
If my heart could fight for another beat and again one more, I could fight too!

Months went by. One step forward and sometimes two steps back. Side-effects of medications, new medicines etc.

During this time I had to find the new me.
Piece by piece.
Day by day.
Breath by breath.
Beat by beat.

One year has passed since last summer.
This summer has been amazing!

I enjoy life so much more!
I love to live, every single moment of life!
More now, than ever before, I think.

It was all my decisions. My choices. My life.
I never stopped believe in myself.

Trust in yourself and your abilities.
Whatever it is you’re going through – you can do it!

Love yourself.
Believe in yourself.
Be yourself.
Respect yourself.

One single year.
I’m back at work. True friends stayed through the hard times.
Those who left?
Sending them love, and I’ve said goodbye.

I enjoy long walks. Love the rays of sun on my skin. Flowers.
Butterflies. The oceans. Beaches. Music.
Sometimes I even take some extra steps to a great song!

I have found out what I love, like and dislike.
And I laugh. A lot! Every day.
I surround myself only with things and people I love.
Caring friends, my amazing children – I love you all! My wonderful grandson, such an incredible little boy and my loving and caring extended family. ❤

Positive energy, positive vibes.
Positive thoughts.
Positive life.

Living with Gratitude. Self-love. Patience. Faith.
Humble.
Love.

You know who you are – I love you, wild thing ❤

❤ Sanna

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